... the hardest thing about being an artist, for me, is the tug of war that is constantly going on in my head and heart. The tug of playing cover songs, of writing more "bubble gum", of kissing someone's ass just to sell a Cd so you have enough gas money to get home.

I've always struggled with this. The rent is due... crap... I gotta sell some Cd's... I gotta book more gigs... I gotta... gotta... gotta... I may pretend that everything is all fun and games and that "I'm just so blessed to do this for a living"... and truthfully, that isn't a lie... but... with the economy as it is right now... Holy crap is it catching up with me. Venues are cutting back their budgets, people aren't buying Cd's, uh... yikes.

There are millions of people in this world who work jobs that they hate just to pay the rent and keep their kids fed. I get it. I've done it... well, keeping my puppy fed...  I do get it. I keep telling myself "one day this is soooo gonna pay off" and I remind myself of that at least a hundred times a day.

There are days when I've spent writing, but it looks like I've done absolutley nothing all day. The laundry is still on the floor, the fridge is still empty, the bath tub still needs a good cleaning... but... I wrote a few songs! lol... yeah, I know... it seems menial. The credit card companies aren't as nice to me anymore... I've always been so good to them, lol, but darn it all... they are really kickin' my ass these days. Go figure, one late payment and they're like vultures ready to pick me apart, literally. Auhhhhh... the sweetness of bliss....

It's the Holiday season and I gotta say, I really do love this time of year. Nothing can really get me down, honestly. No credit card company, no ring around the tub, nope... nothin'... this is my time of year! I love it all, even the cold ass football game where even silk long john's can't compete (and I lived in WI for years, how I survived I have no idea). I'm excited to see my beautiful family next week. I haven't been all that good at keeping in touch lately. I got the best picture text from my sister in law the other day... she sent a picture of my sweet little neice, sleeping in her car seat... I think my heart broke right then and there. I can't believe she's gotten so big and I have missed it all. Ugh. But the good news is... I get to see that sweet little face in person next week! Yup! I get to do what aunties do... feed them candy all day and then ship them to their mom! Whoo hoo! (I am totally kidding Ashley, I'd never do that... I'd totally send them to Daddy!).

My family has new traditions since we have all grown up and moved away. We were raised to move out and move on... funny how Mom and Dad miss us all the time when this is exactly what they taught us to do, leave the nest... in a big way! lol. Christmas used to be our big "to do" but now, it's Thanksgiving. We're all too busy with too many families to handle Christmas together any longer, which is fine by me... I'm sure they are all sick of getting Jessi Lynn Cd's for Christmas anyhow. lol. (oh, I'm not kidding at all... lol)... So, this year... we are all heading to Nashville. My sis and bro in law live there and I'm there quite a bit since I live just a couple hours away now, but having the whole family there will really be great.  I think it'll be the first time my folks have ever been... and hmmmm... I wonder if my older brother and his family are going to make it... (sorry, I'm babbling)....

What was the point of this here blog anyhow?

This is just an example of my scattered brain these days. I swear, I've had full conversations with people, sober as sober can be and I cannot remember a darn thing. Better not be age... cuz... for real... no.. it can't be. Hmmm... maybe just a lot on my plate... well, if I had a plate... dang. lol.

So... uh... it's time for me to put up my Christmas song, huh?? I wrote a song for a Christmas compilation disk last year for a charity thing... which was an awesome experience, by the way.

I just did this whole little myspace ad. It might have been a really dumb idea... spending money that I don't have on an ad that probably will be seen as "spam" and no one will click on it anyhow. Go figure, right? But... no guts, no glory. And for real, the credit card companies already hate me. lol. My next Cd is going to be titled... "Master Card and Me"... uh... I'm totally serious (only not at all).

I am certainly excited about the upcoming months. The shows I have booked, the new people that I'm going to meet and of course, the Holiday's themselves. I'm sure I'll spend Christmas with friends as that tends to happen ever year... and I love it. I'm heading to the mountains tomorrow, to do some soul searching and find myself a new song...

Here's to all the ADD folk out there... if you read through this and understood a word... I love you. And if you didn't "get it"... yeah... it's okay... I love you too and honestly, I don't get it either...

Over n out...

Happy Holiday's my friends!

This is my favorite time of year... the chill in the air... the furnace being turned on for the first time all year... the apple cider... mmmmmmmmm.....

I'll be in Nashville this year for Thanksgiving. My entire family is meeting there, whoa... I know. It'll be great though, all the siblings and their spouces... all the babies... the music (we're all musicians, go figure)... the food.... the food coma's... the naps... auhhhhhh yes... it's the best time of year!

I could go on and on about that stuff and all the details that I love, but... I really wanna tell you about a few gigs that I have coming up in the next month or so.

Many of my fans/friends are way up north, in Wisconsin. So, I apologize that these gigs are too far for you to drive (unless you wanna), but... I haven't figured out how to separate "area's" in my mailing list. Go figure, right?

November 22nd
Opening for The Bridges - www.thebridgesmusic.net
The Loft - 1032 Broadway, Columbus, GA - www.theloft.com
9pm

November 29th
Magnolia Music & Medicine Show - www.magnoliamusicandmedicineshow.com
Eastman, GA
6pm

December 5th
Bellissima - 560-B Amsterdam Ave, Atlanta, GA 30306
404.917.0220
9pm (show up early and have a drink with me!!)
www.myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

December 10th
The Loft Showdown Competition
1032 Broadway, Columbus, GA
www.theloft.com
** This is an 8 week competition and I am scheduled to play on the 10th. If I win that night, I go on to the finals, which is the following week (17th) and if I win THAT night, I win a lot of great stuff... most importantly, STUDIO TIME. I would love to win this so I can put out a few more songs for you. If you can show up and vote.. please do.

December 13th
Opening for Sonia Leigh - www.sonialeigh.com
The Loft - 1032 Broadway, Columbus, GA
www.theloft.com

December 27th
The Alamo - 19 W. Court Square, Newnan, GA 30263
9:30pm - FREE SHOW!
www.thealamonewnan.com

I am also working on a "writer's round" that I'm excited about. I will host it at The Alamo in Newnan, GA... Still working on dates as of right now, but I'm hoping for December 12th. Keep an eye on the website for all updates... I'm bringin' a little bit of Nashville to Newnan, GA. It'll be a great night.

And on that very long note... I say, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I'll send out a more personal note soon... I just wanted to let y'all know about the upcoming dates I have.

Be sure to tell your friends about me, if you would. I'm doing a special on Cd's right now... all three releases for $20. Just go to the website and buy a few for your friends / family... Christmas is a great time of year to give out a few Jessi Lynn Cd's. Plus, it helps me more than you know.

Enjoy this beautiful day,

Jessi

www.jessilynn.com

Hello everyone!

It's been almost a week since I got back home from being gone nearly a month. I headed to Nashville to spend some time with my sister and hit the town with my songs again. It was a VERY inspirational time for me and I wrote a ton of new songs that I'm hoping to start playing at my shows soon. For me, it takes a long time before a song is truly complete and I practice it for months before bringing it out at a show, however... this time I think I'll let the "practice" happen at shows. I may have my cheat sheets with me... and who knows how it'll all work out, maybe the birth of the song will happen right before your eyes... lol...

I headed to Texas with a eager heart, ready to take on new territory and excited to meet the many people I had met via phone, email and myspace. I was staying in Gainseville Texas, where my guitar was waiting for me. My NEW guitar! Vince Pawless had been working on this custom guitar for nearly three years and I finally laid my eyes on it when I rolled up the dirt road and shut the engine off. What a beautiful guitar, even as it was dusty and wasn't completely finished, it was beautiful. Vince stayed up all night that night, finishing it. When I woke up the next morning, I played it... and oh what a beautiful sound came from it. Vince and I sat in his living room and drank coffee and passed the guitar back and forth while he told me stories of the wood, the process and why this guitar is so amazing. It was a great morning for me.

I headed off to the radio station in Dallas that morning, my interview was set for 1pm and since I am always lost, I left quite a bit early so I'd be sure to be on time. Sure enough, I got lost... but still ended up right on time! They were all so very nice to me at the studio, and the interview went well. The first "performance" with my guitar!!

I left the studio (sold a cd in the parking lot to a nice couple that asked what I was doing carrying guitars out to my car...)... and I headed to Salon Nights On The Levee where I would meet up with the ladies from the venue, whom I now call my friends. Sure enough, I got lost again... but eventually made it. The venue was incredible. They really created a songwriters house there, so comfortable and fitting for any songwriter looking for inspiration. Truly a wonderful experience meeting them, dinner, and then playing a few songs on the stage before heading back to Gainseville.

Friday was the night I played at Salon Nights On The Levee and let me just tell you - that was one of my favorite nights ever. A modest crowd... but a well suited crowd. They LISTENED to my songs. They paid attention! I play a lot of places where I'm not exactly able to capture the attention of everyone, but this night was magical. I played my set on my fabulous new guitar... hung out with everyone as long as I could, sat in the green room and just soaked up the night. It was a night to remember for sure.

I had to play at 10am the next morning, so I hustled back to Gainseville and thre myself into bed only to get myself up and out again in a few hours. The festival was a GREAT SUCCESS - so much so, that they decided to make it an annual thing. It was awesome to see Vince Pawless guitars everywhere... and the artists were incredible, the people were soooo friendly and although it was HOT HOT HOT out, it was an enjoyable experience for sure. They asked me back for next year and of course... I said YES!!!

I took off down the road the next morning pretty early. I had to drive back to Nashville... then back to Georgia shortly after... so... although it was a long time being away from home, a short time in Texas and a long drive... it was an amazing month for me. New songs. New experiences. New friends. New faces. New inspirations. It was food for my soul in many many ways. Exactly what I have been needing... and right on time...

I hope to see you at The Alamo this Friday night, Newnan Georgia. My hope is to break out a few of the new songs I wrote...

jessi

PS I played THE LOFT in Columbus, GA on the 3rd. I opened for Keni Thomas, who is AMAZING. I had an incredible night and look forward to getting back there as soon as possible! Thanks to all you girls who came out and hung with me... thanks for dinner too *wink*...

I knew Ike had done some damage and I knew we'd get the price hike because of it, but I had no idea that it would be almost impossible to find. I was out yesterday, bouncing around the city and was caught off guard as to why this one gas station looked like a parking lot. I thought maybe they were doing a gas promotion or something. I kept on going down the road... then I saw another gas station that looked just the same, but the one across the street was empty. I started paying more attention and I realized that... oh... hell... all of these gas stations are boarded up. The few that aren't, are the few that have gas left. People fighting at the pumps, police at every station and I'm looking at my gas needle thanking God that I bought the most efficiant vehicle that I could in 2005. 37 miles to the gallon... ummmm... yeah, I did good. However, I'm still in need of gas and I'm about to head to Texas on Wednesday... so... uh... as I kept driving, I started getting worried.

Today was much the same, but I did see one more station that had gas, so maybe it's just a temporary thing. I still need gas... and I still have to leave on Wednesday for Texas. Afterall... the show must go on.

I remember reading about The Bluebird Cafe long before I knew anything about the guitar or had written a song of my own. I can't remember where I read about it or learned about it, but I have always wanted to play there. When I lived in Nashville, I went a few times to see different writer's shows, but I never went for the open mike night. I worked downtown and my shift ended long after the sign up happened, so I played other open mike's in town, writer's rounds, etc. The Bluebird was always there, but I never played it.

Last night I decided that enough was enough. I wanted to play there 20 years ago and I'm just being lazy by not wanting to stand in that line and get the "stamp" to play the next time, if I didn't get in that night. Off I went, to stand in the line... and to get my stamp. I brought my guitar even though I knew I wasn't gonna get to play, but thought that if I didn't bring it, that they'd put me in, as my luck would have it. lol.

I followed the line in and put my name in the "1st try" basket. I could see that the "2nd try" basket was full... so... that pretty much told me there was no shot at me playing my two songs. I crawled over people to get a seat, ordered myself a miller lite and tried to get comfortable in a very crowded room. I sat there, looking around at all the hopefully writers looking for their break. Inspiring and sort of depressing. It brought back a lot of memories from when I first moved to Nashville and realized just how many people had the same dream as I did. I was so young, so naive and honestly, kinda dumb. lol.

Barbara Cloyd got up and informed everyone of the rules, the time limit you had and read off the 21 names of the writers who got to play that night. There were 64 writers that showed up to play... 21 writers that had "2nd try" tickets, which meant... no one from the "1st try" basket would get to play.

I wasn't sure how rude it would be to get up and leave, but I really wanted to get my "stamp" and head out. Not for any other reason than how cramped it was and how uncomfortable it was to fit myself and my guitar in a VERY small chair, smooshed between other people. Ugh. But, I stayed for about 10 writer's and then, made my exit.

So, as the rules go, I have moved up from "1st try" to "2nd try" and the next time I go in, I just have to drop my little ticket with my stamp on it into the appropriate basket and I will get to play my two songs, in less than 9 minutes including set up time. I kinda like how they have it set up, there is nothing worse than having someone's song last 7 minutes and it being terrible. She made it clear that it's not the time to play some long instrumental, it's just about the song and the songwriter. I love that.

I was tempted to hit Broadway when I left, but decided that... it's not a good idea for me to go "out" by myself. Lord knows I've gotten myself into trouble doing that before... "Sittin' At The Redlight" for example. lol. Guess I got a song out of it, and a two day hangover. Yikes.

Thought I would share my Bluebird experience with you. I mean, I realized last night that it was more of a tourist trap... the out of town songwriters who come for it and it wasn't exactly filled with talent... but ya know... there's something really incredible that happens when you do something that you said you would when you were ten. I know The Bluebird is an incredible venue, with an incredible history. The regular line up during the week is amazing... I want one of those slots...

 I swear I've been a million places but still have a million more to go and since I love to go, that's my intention! I met this guy, Richard, waaaaay back when I lived in Nashville. He came in to the bar I was working at and although it was against the rules, I sold him a Cd (and he came back a few days later and bought 10 more). Yay for breaking the rules because Richard has become a friend to me and although he lives across the pond, that hasn't stopped him from wanting to bring my music to his country. He started his own management business recently and has worked on tours for REO Speedwagon and I think he told me Journey as well.... sweet huh? Anyhow, he's been talkin' about bringing me over there and doing a whole European tour!! So, it's in the works! I'm eager to go, that is for sure. It's a whole new part of the world that music will grant me a pass to see first hand. One of the biggest blessings that music allows me is to see this beautiful world up close and personal.  Getting to meet people from every corner of the world is a true blessing. 

Richard and I are still working out the details, making the plans and doing everything necessary to get the ball rolling a little faster for this adventure. I am truly excited about this and will keep you posted on how things are going, when I might be traveling over there and what to expect from the world traveler I'm about to become! 

Don't forget to tune in tomorrow morning (Sept 8th) at 8:30am to see me on Good Day Atlanta! www.myfoxatlanta.com for those of you who aren't in the area.... I'll be watching it on the net too.... *wink*

 Yes, it's true - I just got the email from the station, they will be airing my "lost" segment this Monday, September 8th at 8:30am!

I could re-write what happened when I went to play "live", but... that would be dumb, cuz it's just two blogs ago... so just scroll down and read it, it's quite the story. 

Don't forget to TUNE IN on Monday and watch it!!! I'm in Nashville, so... pout pout sniffle.... I'll have to see it online @ www.myfoxatlanta.com and I'll see about getting a copy of the segment so I can add it to my website, youtube, myspace, and anywhere else I can post it. lol. I do remember that I had puffy eyes and it was super early in the morning, so... umm.. maybe I wont post it. lol. 

Remember, I'll be playing at The Alamo on October 11, 2008 at 9pm in the heart of Newnan, GA.  This show is a FREE one... and it's my favorite place to play, come see why.... www.thealamonewnan.com

YAY!!! I'm gonna be a tv star! Sweeeeeet.....

Okay, so... I've been reading a lot of "how to" books lately.. you know "how to change your life in 30 days".. and "how to be famous" and a bunch of bullshit like that. Here's what I discovered... I'm wasting my damn time! I mean, sure.. there are some really important stuff in them there books, but... not enough to keep my nose buried in them for the rest of my life.

Websites are supposed to give you an accurate picture of the artist, or business, right? Well... mine sucks. It says all the "right" things that I have read and been advised to say, but there's really no personality in it. I'm a smart ass to the core of my being. I drink. I laugh. I play hard and I work hard. I get caught up in how things are "supposed" to be done, but then I just lose my character. So, I've been looking around at this site going "who the hell is this girl?". I'M BORED and it's ME for God's sake! So... I'm about to change that. Myspace too.

Sure, I wanna sing my songs and be accurate in representing each of them. I have some (okay, a lot) of deep songs, serious songs, some are quite depressing actually, but I also have fun songs that are equally important. "Work work work, work on my tan. Play play play all day in the sand. Flirt my way to dinner again, all day long..." That is absolutely my life! "New Tattoo"... I mean, COME ON!!! Who writes a song about driving 1500 miles to get drunk, sing at the top of your lungs and buy a cowboy hat and get a new tattoo?? Yeah.. that's right, I DO! You know why? Cuz I did it. I've done it more than once actually, lol.

So... I'm gonna have to start incorporating the side of myself that far outweighs the serious crap and this website has GOT to find some personality before I gag. For real. Sure it looks pretty, but it's boring!!!! Who would want to hang out here, or check back, or buy a Cd or download a song... or come to a show when everything is screaming "BORING!!"

Look for the changes... they're gonna be coming... life is too frickin' short to be serious all the damn time.

** I do, however, reserve the right to have serious moments and serious other stuff on here if I so choose... I mean... I am a woman afterall... and my mood swings both ways quite frequently, so... get yourself a seat belt if you need one to keep yourself in your seat.  I am not responsible for those who go straight when they didn't know I was taking a left.

I went to bed so early last night and was up at 3am so I could do all of my "work" stuff before having to leave the house for my Good Day Atlanta appearance. I left the house at 5:45am, ready to make my way up to Atlanta and to the studio.

I got on 85N and almost immediately I can see there is a horrible accident on the other side of the interstate. I bet there were 15 or 20 emergency vehicles on that side. No sooner did I say "please let me get there on time" did I see nothing but break lights ahead of me. We all came to a stop. I knew I had left with enough time to get lost and still get there on time, so I just stayed put and said a little prayer...

Twenty minutes go by...

I'm still in the same spot and getting really nervous about the time.

Another twenty minutes go by...

I call the station and leave a message. I mean, obviously they know what's going on because they are probably covering the accident on the news. But, do they know that I'm stuck in the middle of it?

Well... I left a message.

Called back twenty minutes after that and got Jan Hickle on the phone. She was super nice and totally cool about it and offered the "this stuff happens, it's not your fault". I mean, I know this... but as an artist, not making it to an appearance just isn't something I do. As a matter o' fact, this is the first time.

I knew there was no way I would get to go on the show at that point, it was past the time for sound check and even if all the traffic cleared, I was still at least a half hour away (if I didn't get lost).

Everyone's engine's were turned off, people out of their cars talking on cell phones and then to eachother. I got a few nods from those along side of me and then it hit me... I have my guitar... I might as well play.

If I had the nerve, I would have put on a show for everyone, but I was just too frazzled to even think about being "Jessi Lynn" in that moment. I just needed to write. So, I unpacked my guitar and started writing a song... about being stuck on the interstate, of course.

I sat there for two hours, my stomach in knots because I knew I missed the show. I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to float away, but... there was no such luck. lol. At long last, people started getting back in their cars and starting up the engines, I was never so relieved to see break lights in my life.

I knew if I busted ass, I might be able to swing it, no sound check or big introduction... but that was just me thinking I could do it all. lol. I pulled up to the mansion on the hill and security let me through. I knew I wasn't going on, but I took my guitar just in case. I really just wanted to go in and apologize face to face. I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I felt horrible, my hands were shaking and I had a lump in my throat. I've had a rough couple of days and this just wasn't what I wanted to have to do.

Jan was paged to the front and eventually she came and got me. She introduced me to some people that I think I probably should have known, but didn't (oops) and then told me that she didn't expect me to come and that they wouldn't be able to get me on today, I knew that and I told her that I just wanted to apologize and at least come in and show face. Maybe she already had a plan, I don't know, but she took me to the set of "Good Day Atlanta" and introduced me to a bunch of people and told me that she would see what she could do.

I honestly didn't expect to do anything other than be turned away at the front desk. Jan certainly didn't have to even come down to acknowledge me, but she did. I appreciate that.

I FINALLY got to go to the bathroom, but couldn't find my way back to the set, and instead, was directed to the green room to wait. I don't typically like to leave my purse or guitar unattended, but... I couldn't find my way back to where I left them, so... there I was, alone in the greenroom, as nervous as I could be. Or, maybe not nervous, but more frustrated and flustered from the hours on the interstate.

They decided to go ahead and tape a performance, since I was there, and they would try to air it somewhere down the road. They didn't think they could air it before Friday, which I understood... my time slot was missed, I can't and don't expect anything at this point. I'm just glad they let me play, even if they never do anything with it. I had huge bags under my eyes anyhow. lol.

Mark Hayes was incredibly nice to me and we chatted about the Keith Brooking TailGate Party (which is where I met him and he asked if I wanted to be on the show). I ran through the song a couple of times and sometime around 10am, they filmed me singing "Someday Soon" (a sort of edited version).

I talked with everyone a bit about the business and they all were so very nice to me, offering me many compliments and then, suggestions on where to play. It was a really nice ending to a crappy morning.

I went on my way, only getting lost once trying to find I20 (why don't they mark that shit??)... and off I went down the interstate, hoping that no idiot is on the road that will slow me down any more.

Now, here I am. Back at home for a short minute before I have to do my "out and about" stuff. The crazy amount of text messages I have gotten asking why I wasn't on... the messages... the emails...

That is why you didn't see me on Good Day Atlanta.

I think things happen for reasons, even if we don't understand why at the time. I can't explain it, nor can I waste my time thinking "had I only left fifteen minutes earlier"... because Lord knows... I probably left exactly on time, if you know what I mean.

I will let you know if and when they decide to air my segment and hopefully, they will invite me back for October. They said they would... and I promised that if they do, I'll get a hotel right down the road...

I am super excited about being on Good Day Altanta tomorrow. I am not exactly excited about getting up so early or being ready to sing at 7:30am, but... I am excited for the show!

I usually get super nervous in these kinds of situations, worried about what I'll say or how it'll come across. If I have bad posture or my pitch is off. I have done a zillion inerviews and once (way early in my career) I did an interview and played a few songs at 5am on a radio station in Wisconsin. I decided that I wouldn't do any interview that early again, unless it's over the phone!

But, tomorrow will be fun as long as I don't get lost. lol. I'm always lost. I really have no idea how I have been able to travel as much as I have, or have lived as many places as I have and still can't find my way out of a paper bag. A couple of friends bought me a Garmin a couple years ago, one of the hand helds... and although I keep it with me almost all the time, I still haven't figured out how to use the darn thing. I think maybe that's my impatience more than anything. I pull it out when I'm lost and that's probably the wrong time to try to figure out how to use it. Sigh... lol...

Anyhow, if you tune in tomorrow between 8am and 9am, you'll see me on FOX TV in the Atlanta, GA and surrounding areas of course. I'll try to get a copy of my portion and put it up on here somewhere, or at least direct you to their website where you can see it if you don't live in the area.

Wish me luck my friends... let me know how I do (if you catch it)...

****************

Oh... and just a reminder that this coming Saturday Night, I will be playing a full acoustic set at The Alamo in Newnan, GA.

It's actually a Carnival Party (for adults), raising money for breast cancer research. The team "Something 2 Talk About" is hosting this event in hopes of raising money for their portion of the "Susan G Komen - Race For The Cure" and they are walking this year, in honor of Amy Murphy, who owns The Alamo.

There will be lots of fun games, some hot ass prizes and then... me... singing my heart out for the cause.

All of the money raised will go to the "something 2 talk about" girls.

Please show your support and lets kick the shit out of breast cancer.

Jessi

Years ago, I was terrified to cut my hair. I'm not exactly sure when that fear settled so deep within me, but as far back as I can remember, cutting my hair was a terrifying event.

My mother used to cut my hair, maybe that's where it started. I always ended up looking like a boy, or had the nicest mullet on the block. Bless her heart, she was trying to save money... at least that's what I tell myself. My sister and I laugh at all the fried hair, bad perms, boyish styles and hard core dye jobs that my mother put me through. Jamie escaped a lot of the coloring and the short cuts, but she couldn't escape the perms. lol. Sigh... I think that's one of the things we got from our mom, the need for change. She was always looking to change things and often times, did. We would up and move at the drop of a hat, or come home and our bedrooms wouldn't be where we left them. Or... never really knowing what color her natural hair color was because often times it was orange, pink, purple, blue, green or any other color she decided to change to. She loved those "color in a box" numbers. She sure had a good time with them. It's kinda fun, now that I think about it... she has the spirit of adventure... and she passed that down to us kids, in different ways.

I have always been one to stay "free". Never stay in one spot too long, never stay in a relationship long enough for them to know my last name, and never have a current drivers license. But the one thing that rarely, if ever changed... was my hair. I kept it long and straight. Boring. One or two "trims" a year and that was it. But the last couple of years, I have been craving something new. I started slow and eventually cut enough off to where people were shocked, then when I threw the pink in there... it was like a whole new me. lol. Friends and family had no idea what had gotten into me. Matter o' fact, one of my best friends is the one who cut my hair and put pink in it and I recall the fear in her eyes when I said I was ready... she wasn't sure I was ready because Lord knows, she had cut my hair for years and my white knuckles were enough to make her nervous.

I guess something happened to me in that moment when she first cut it off and added pink. It was a freedom that I had never experienced, oddly. It amazes me sometimes, the connections between the dumbest things. So many people are attached to their hair and yet.. it's only hair. It grows back. But... anyhow... I muscled my way through that fear and found that "the other side" was liberating.

I shocked even myself when I decided that, not only do I want to chop it ALL off, but I want to do it myself. Well, not COMPLETELY by myself, but close. Two girls, one bathroom and a cheap blue handled pair of scissors. Yep. Off it went. The next day I decided that I wanted more off, so... less one girl, same scissors and same bathroom... I snipped away.

Maybe it's the frustration in my life these days that I wanted to shed. Or maybe it's just that it's so damn hot in Georgia. Or... it's because I'm getting lazy in my old age and I'm tired of doing my hair. Or... maybe I'm cheap and I don't wanna spend the money on a fancy hair cut. Beats me, but I love it! I think I look thinner too... teehee... sigh...

The reality is, there is some psychological reasoning behind it and I know that. The need for change, but the inability to change the things I have no control over. Frustration with the music industry and the failing economy, the gigs that are harder to book, the fans not coming out to every show because it's too expensive to "go out", the Cd's that haven't been selling as rapidly because of it. Independent music is so common now, you really have to stand out in order to make it. Record companies have little to do with the success of their artists, it seems. I love being independent, having control over my sound, my songs, the music, where I play, who I work with, what I do or don't do. Control. Yes, I like control.

Oddly, the whim of cutting my hair made me open my eyes and look around, acknowledge the things that are failing me and need to be changed. Cutting everything back, fixing the foundation and essentially, starting over. I've been talking about doing that with my music, my career and my life for a couple of years... but for some reason, lately I feel like I have actually "grown" up and am really ready to embrace all that comes along with it, starting with change. All the responsibilities of being an adult... ewwwww... but... here I am... craving that change.


Like fertile soil... you're not supposed to use the same land over and over again, it needs to have a season of rest to replenish the nutrients in the soil to grow better crops.

So simple... and yet... so profound.

My foundation needs a little repair, I get it... a season of rest... so I can come back better.

Don't read into that too deep... I have a feeling the changes will be subtle and although you may notice them, they wont be too much to handle. I know that I am a rare bird when it comes to loving change. Most people hate it. Just don't be surprised with anything I may do, say, or change.

Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see."